Final Shield

Fields of dew
under the clouds
overcast sky
and dampened shrouds

unnerved and lost
in solid belief
in something
that truly
retains the innocence
in me

tired of being mistaken for
something you see to be
i am guilty of nothing but
deep sensitivity

that cannot unleash
that cannot be reached
when I will let it not
outside of this reality

but I've been framed
because I'm angry
as ones once trusted
condemned me
in whispers behind my back

It's like lying down on glass
as if it were a tea party

all smashed

the dried flower
was meant to be
so pour hot water
over me

over my broken soul
over my weakened body

well, I stood for what's real
on some level
in some way
though not yours
or even mine

the truth is
and it's real
it's complex
but it's real
it's overlapping but
it's real
unique..

never thought of before
but REAL

I cannot be hurt again
I will not be hurt again
I will not try my best
when weakened 
only to be condemned

People tie things together

which are actually separate
and I let myself
accept it
and now I hang my head 
in shame

but I won't take all the blame

when the gaslit lights

were the rain...

There reaches this point
where fairness is breached
why do I seem to attract it?
am I a bane of society?

So, am I finished with all of this?
do I need to be reborn?
in a place where the universe can be sworn
to not let them hurt me again
to not let ME hurt me again

Music notes are like totes
to be held, and sung
through this rain
'til the harmony of the truth

protects from the pain

 

This final shield surrounds me

not too fancy: bold and plain
but I really can't afford

to be wounded once again

- S. Rose Ashcraft