pins and needles

pins and needles
biting like beetles
clock is ticking
moon is shining
over windowed
towering in the sky
cast shadows on high
cradling, with a dark hearts'
lamented, fermented
sour lullaby
reaching for
the right
praying to get through
each night
til we reach
the light


Never mind the title
never mind the piece
paper is just paper
are vows
practiced as preached
via passive aggressive
it was long dead
was toxic
glue dissolving so weak
holding together
near hypoxic
spiritually noxious
was how you turned
your back
on me
on my hurts and feelings
through such terrifying dealings
no support was there for me
in sickness and in health
is the vow I see
other peeps
with this disease
with hubbies
practicing what they preach
Sending to the US
or Spain
for their wifeys'
lifesaving surgeries...
It'd never happen
no, not for me
and I stewed in frustration
and in agony
'til I had to just leave
even if, for me, it is dangerous
I had to let go
of the idea
that you would be there
for me
in this battle for my life
oh no...
you're not man enough to handle it
so you washed your hands of me
and long before I did actually leave
and living with your attitude towards me
is somewhere no one battling illness
to deserves to b…

Pumping and some

Bravery is false pride
like fake it til you make it
defiant on this ride
through hell and now alone
battling I need to win
like the sword in the stone
it's a battle that's so steep
struggling so hard to keep
enough so that I can go
enough to actually sow
so that what's sown can be reaped
so that I can then find my peace
I can't let go until I have done that
at least
and speaking of above
no grim reapers will come
I'll chase them away with my drum
yeah, my heart is the drum
yeah it has to keep beating
my blood has to keep pumping
and some

Whistling in the dark

Black ice crystals
shine like whistles 
whistling in the dark 
whistling through the park 
of trees and benches barren 
subtly it'll wear down 
the backs of every fool 
who turns away 
but cool 
bearing backs to weather 
so cruel

Neck pain wake

throbbing and gushing
the blood from an axe
drips down hot like wax
corroding like
a million rusty
poking through my bones
digging into
my teeth
round it round it
i'm burning in
the heath


Trend, trends
go 'round the bends
to the top so high
and into the sky
for everyone to see
like a star
on a tree
like a bird
gliding on
for now everyone
the story
in it's throes
all the foes
it's protected
by thee
you can now
say it's right
you can now say
it's tight
you can now say
cause it's good
and it's right
trends, trends
oh tell all your friends!


Shades of dark
at the rims
fading into
rising water
cold and grim

in a damp room
and I wheeze
to breathe
down on
swollen knees

crawling in
the dankness
creeping into
pouring down
like acetone
are the tears
that fall from these

eyes dry, dark and reddened
and deadened
in the night
of icy seas
tears do fall
like leaves

yonder was a meadow
far from me
and sallow
mildewed now
by winter freeze
it's only sought
by wasps, not bees

never dull
is the dullest trap
a suck, like a vacuum
in my lap
torn apart by
conflicting needs
there are warnings
that red flag heed

body is breaking
left and right
and I am trying
with all my might
but too many things
overwhelm me
and it's already hard

I painted my art
I pulled it together
but hard to have it seen
in foggy whether
and the fog is engineered
making it rigged
how do I get seen
on time
with a branch
not a twig

I need a miracle
I'm rotting in the dank
I …